Sometimes when you’re just doing your own thing and trying to cruise on in life, and then something comes along and derails your concentration and the state of peace that you’ve worked so hard to achieve. Sometimes we consider that as a small bump, but some other times, it is as if someone had wronged you from birth. What defines that differences, and how do you manage or cope with your feelings?
I find myself struggling with that very often. How do I feel, and why do I feel so unjustly treated? There are many other things in the world that are more important, and there are a lot more things for me to feel and be involved about. Yet, if someone texts me in a vague or passive aggressive way, my heart beats as if I’m about to enter a fight. My focus is thrown off for a good half an hour or so, and I get no work done. Does the other person even mean what they say? Maybe not, maybe it was just a passing statement that should be forgotten as quickly as it was mentioned. But it just digs and digs, and the frustrations build.
Point is: when we are struck with a frustrating situation that we can’t do much about, how do we get out of it? I’m testing some range of ways
- Writing about it.
I used to write about it a lot more often. I would get bumped on the train, and I would glance at the person to just see how the person looked like, and then I start a fan fiction of this person’s life. I pretend to write prophetically, declaring death and damnation on this bump, and the person might bump me again getting out. Which leads to chapter 2.
But growing older, the writing helps me process what my own thoughts are. What am I really feeling? Should I be feeling this way? And if I should be feeling this way, and everything is truly in the right, then I need to find a resolution with the person somehow. It might not be easy, but it is actually the next step.
- Talking to someone about it.
Having another person process through thoughts with you is great. I find myself being greatly relieved when I talk to someone about what I think. I also feel better when my self-righteousness is justified muhaha.
But jokes aside, it does help to know if your emotions were properly placed. Am I really responding or feeling correctly? If I’m not, then I better start doing something internally to change. It wouldn’t hurt, but it would improve me greatly. I could only get better out of this frustration, and it would build me as a person. This is a great point, but you would also need someone who is wise to help you talk through your thoughts and thinking. Asking a random person, or a yes man, would not help, but instead increase your own ego.
- Forgetting about it
Sometimes, you just gotta let it go. It was just a bump, it was just a miscommunicated text, it’s just not worth holding on to it. Be as frustrated as you want to be, but you have to just know that there’s more to life than being affected by these things.
It might be cleared up quickly when you actually meet the person face to face, or to talk about it on the phone. But don’t rush things, because perhaps it was really just something misunderstood.
These thoughts are more to help myself think through my own frustrations. And it’s something I’m trying to keep as a reference to myself, so that I remember what I’m going through now. How would I advise myself back in 2 weeks time? And I think most parts of me would say that I could have used that time so much better.
So instead of being angry, and not doing my work properly, I’ve spent an hour writing about how I feel, and how I would want to tell myself how to deal with it. It feels much better than being distracted, wasting my time. Which honestly is my personal biggest frustration with myself.