There are so many things to do in this world, and yet it’s really ridiculous how I end up doomscrolling for hours. It’s not my own experience, it’s not my life, and all I’m doing in observing it through someone else’s lens. If might be funny, it might be interesting, but it’s not my life.
I’m figuring out how to live the life I choose, and it’s definitely not about how much content I can consume. Reading is slightly different, because I can read and learn how to make my own words. Also the imagination of reading gives me such inspiration to try make my own version of things. It’s just a mental recipe of sorts, and then I become something of my own after time.
I’m trying to choose to make more, to save and buy things I really want instead of things I just find novel. I was just thinking about some of the slightly random purchases I made recently, and if I just made a little more discernment, I’d be able to get something else entirely.
I’m also attempting the emotional challenge of getting rid of old clothes and things. If you’ve known me for just a little bit, you know that I’m somewhat of a hoarder. There’s always a possibility, but I’m learning not all possibilities are for me. I have to choose.
Along with yesterday’s idea of the Creative Standard: I don’t want to have just the standard set of things. I want to have something different. From “Die With Zero”, I want to choose, and not be on autopilot. It’s so easy just to glance past and go for easy. I don’t think I’ve ever chosen easy in my life, but I definitely feel tempted to now, with my baby around. It feels like because of baby Allison, I’m encouraged to just go for easy for her sake. But that’s not true. I have to be responsible, but responsible doesn’t mean choosing the easiest way out.
But today, I decided I really want to choose life wisely, and to not waste my brain space on things not aligned with that life.
One small action at a time.