In the past few years, the constant thought is how much focus I should give to the projects that I do. I have also been thinking about focusing my time and resources in the right direction. Thankfully I’ve landed on art as the main thing. But the hard part is showing the work.
I don’t know which line of publicity to take. If I were my own client, I would have ditched myself because of the indecision. I guess this post in itself as a “thinking out loud” moment, where I want to talk about why and how I get stuck at each portion.
For one, I am not sure what the timeline is. Everything starts on a timeline, because then you have a publishing goal. Currently my time tag is to the Singapore Art Book Fair. But it doesn’t showcase the other things I’ve been processing. So I guess if I pitch and set deadlines for publishing for myself, I have to make the motivating factor really important. I need something of critical value to get me going.
Another thing is what I showcase. I have no idea which are the best ideas, because the ideas I’ve shown to people are usually the ones I go with. But I have another ton of ideas in my sketchbooks and notebooks, but mostly in my head. And these might never see the light of day. Perhaps they should see the light of day, in little zines. Especially since I have a very easy and affordable way to make these.
The frequency and location of where I pubilsh is another bit. I like to publish here on my blog, but its because I know no one will see it. But if I show it on my instagram, there’s always eyes there. More than that, I have to deal with COMMENTS.
I’m not great with comments because I feel the need to respond to every single one. It’s who I am I guess? I am a very person-type person. It matters to me to have a real conversation with someone, and I think it is crucial to being human. I feel the comments section anywhere is the worst place sometimes, because of the horrible things people assume out of nowhere. And it scares me.
I guess if I can work through my fears, it would get me somewhere, but comes the last issue I have: do I really need to have eyes on me as an artist now? Is fame something I seek?
It’ll definitely boost some credibility for me, but I don’t know if it is something I am really looking for as a person now. I might look for it if I were a professional artist, living only on my artwork. But I’m not. I am happy to do art when I feel like expressing specific things. I don’t depend on my artwork for a living. Maybe things would change drastically if I were, but currently, I can choose not to take up gigs because I just don’t want to or if I don’t agree with it.
So it results in a non decision somewhat. I don’t really have a need to build my craetive career, but maybe a little bit of me really still wants to. I can’t decide, and I’m just lost a little in my own indecision.
In any case, I have to still create today, so one day at a time I guess.