trisected

Tag: gratefulness

  • Gratefulness

    I really feel handicapped at times, when I want to make or progress in a creative direction. I feel this sense of a lack of time, a lack of resources, and just don’t have the right things in hand. Then I go on this spree and buy a million things to make sure that I have everything right. Then I start to do something, only to work on it for a good month or two, and I give up.

    This process really frustrates myself, and I am the exact cause of it. I see myself needing these things, and I feel as if I can’t do it without that item, or tool.

    But the truth of it, along with some other self reflection, is that I can do it. It’ll take me longer, it’ll take more time, but I can do it. And more than that, I should do it. Because sometimes I just need to make do with what I have.

    I think it boils down to gratefulness. Am I content and grateful for what I currently have? I know I am not. I want more, and I need it to function, or so I suggest to myself.

    But I need to be, I need to learn to manage these emotions, and these desires, before they make me into a self serving person. It could very easily continue in this current way, and for me to have many things, and never producing anything that I am actually happy with. Or just not being there consistently enough to develop that skill of mastery.

    Anyway, these thoughts are happening because I’m thinking whether I could work off an iPhone 13 Pro Max, or a MacBook Pro/Air. Super different needs and purposes that would be served, but these thoughts are just in my head.

  • After Some Time…

    After some time, we get used to things. We become familiar, and we understand how or why something goes a certain way. After some time, emotions and excitement fades. We take things for granted, and we take that as the norm, how things should be.

    After some time, it’s good to take a moment to reflect. Is my life today something special? What’s special about today, and how have I gotten to this point? It’s a moment to be grateful, and to take stock of how we are so far.

    But in through all this, time is key.

    Instead of waiting for today to remember to be grateful, or for us to realise that certain ideas or thoughts have faded, what if we could control the when? What I mean is, if we do check ins periodically, would we ever lose that excitement, or would we ever forget to be grateful? Perhaps gratefulness would just be part of who we are, and every moment is cherished.

    Or maybe it would become another system that we take for granted again, and this idea of when is just one that the human mind cannot fathom in the best way. Maybe having this up and down of remembering and forgetting is something that we just can’t really deal with, if its constant all the time. Something would just need to give way around this circle of life’s priorities.

    When? After some time, that’s when.