I watched Netflix’s Adolescence over the weekend, because an older colleague suggested me to watch it. I concluded my view of young people is technically in line with what the show had portrayed. But I also saw other aspects I previously did not consider much about — like family life and the wider scope of stress in the family.
The older colleague had related that his son had told him to watch the show, and he came to some new insights about how young people think and behave these days.
In the years of social media work, I’ve actually been introduced to some of how the social media rigging has been. I’ve not watched the Social Dilemma, and maybe that’s the next show I should watch. But I’ve used King Kylie’s account for posts before, to see how it works. “Like for Like”, “Grid” are terms that I get. And I would expect nothing less from teenagers to each other. The amount of under coding that happens between young people is already immense, and now to fly under the radar entirely in front of adults is telling about how youth culture will always be. There are unspoken rules that will be created, maintained, and enforced by the majority.
But where the social majority plays into the hands of the group leaders, everyone can run away to their homes, their families. In Adolescence, the saddest story I really felt about was the police officer’s son. He was being bullied because of his dad’s job, and he had no way of properly communicating with his dad. He was learning how to, and his dad struggled to listen. It took effort. The main suspect as well had issues with his family, and at the end of the show, the family unit feels the pains and hurts of the son. They hurt together.
It makes me think about my family: the one that I am the father of, and the one where I am the son of. How do I play my role in either, and how do I play it well? I don’t commit murder or crime, but my work takes up time, and I have time allocated for work and ministry. I might not be listening as much, or I might not be communicating much either. It’s a moment for me to stop and reflect— am I being the father or son the people around me would like me to be? I might be finding my own identity but I could definitely do it with less pain.
I actually just started reading this book called “The World Needs a Father”, and this show is good motivation for me to finish it up. Especially when my 100 book challenge is still underway. It’s really not that easy to read so much. Thankfully parenting isn’t about being able to read 100 books in a year. Instead, it’s really a lot about listening to the young person in my house. It’s also a lot of communicating with my parents above me, to explain the changing world.