Of all the months to really just speed past, April has sped past the fastest so far. After the slow grind of January to March, the culmination of the Open Fields, and of my interns time with me, time has kicked into third or fourth gear. In a flash, April is about to end soon, and it feels like there’s no time to think, no time to do anything.
Once again, I’ve been trying to figure out what to put here in my own blog. I’ve been doing my journals, and I’ve put one or two articles on my Medium side of things. But what do I put here? I used to have a lot more process things, but right now it feels like I don’t have much left to process.
As a whole, April was just a lot of catching up, and realigning of schedules and relationships. It wasn’t the hardest month, but at the same time, I don’t think it was a walk in the park. I needed to clear work, and there was honestly a lot of mental processing that I needed to do. The internal readjustments were what I needed to do the most.
And maybe that’s why there’s nothing I need to put here because I’ve done the work already. I’ve figured out what my brain needed to do, and I just went ahead to do it. That’s led me to finish typing emails, sorting out meeting dates and team directions. Now it’s a matter of getting actual work done.
I am a little apprehensive of what it means to publish work, and what it means to publish for other people too. It feels very all encompassing, like something very serious, very severe. It’s weird, and anxiety inducing. It feels like a huge weight on my shoulders, but at the same time, it’s just a small step. I think I have less fear of the stage, than to produce, and to create and add to industry. It’s much easier to just present concepts, and to share ideas. But to make something, to put money down and making something come out of it – that’s a bit harder.
I think finishing Atlas Shrugged definitely pushed me in that direction. But I also remember one of Steve Job’s presentation where he asks the crowd about being manufacturers. Because the manufacturers knew what he was going through, but not the marketing people. Not the people who just talk. But he wanted the people who actually made something.
Making really takes something out of you through. I totally understand the difficulty, and I relate completely to it. It’s just not easy.
Anyway, one step at a time, and one month at a time maybe for me.