Multiple Directions

I’ve been told the need to focus, more than once. It’s not easy to a lot of the time. I just get really bored sometimes, in the middle of a single thing. Maybe because I put on this laser focus of sorts, and I can’t multi-task at that time. But the moment I lose that focus, I suddenly run in five different directions, as if my mind is taking revenge for being held captive for that one task for that long.

I think the best way to explain it is how I can run long distance quite happily, but half way through the run, my mind starts to plan the next week ahead, I recap the past week and the things I had done, I start to look at my breathing and my footwork, I’m still listening to an audio book or podcast through this time.

I’m still running, but then all of a sudden my body is just moving, but my mind is just not there anymore.

Imagine this scenario for every part of life. Like half way cooking, I think of what it means to travel through time and space. I was just slicing onions seconds ago, and my brain said, hey what about theory of relativity. Thankfully, I still finish cooking and I actually don’t hurt myself. But man, I need to pull myself back so much.

So when it comes to art, I feel like one medium is never enough. I feel like visual arts, music, writing, they’re all pulling me out of bed everyday, making me do more and more with them. I try my best to feed their crazy appetites of my attention and energy, but there’s only one me, and there’s only 24 hours in a day.

I’m really being pulled in multiple directions, and sometimes, it’s fun to just let myself not go anywhere, in rebellion to all the creativity around. I just read, play games, and take naps. I actually hate doing that the most.

Today started out with that, just chilling and not doing anything, and now it’s ending with a blog post. Because I just can’t help myself, I gotta do something, in one direction or another.