trisected

Tag: motivations

  • The Reason for Discipline

    I have been thinking about this for the past few days, especially in the past week. Leading up to my birthday, I was keeping up with my writing pretty okay, maybe I missed a day or two, but in the few days of gap in writing, I am understanding that why I write is key.

    More than that, the motivations why I continue to do something in a disciplined manner need to be clearly drawn out for myself.

    I watched a few videos on people keeping small notebooks, and the place of writing thoughts or just doodling through the day. I thought those were absolutely perfect ideas. The only issue is its application in my own daily life. What would I do with all these thoughts? Where would I place these ideas and doodles? I have no answer.

    And because I have no clear answer for myself, I don’t see myself starting out on them. The difficulty comes where I know the answer would reveal itself to me while I start out. But the steps to pull myself along to do something that I haven’t done for a very long time is extremely challenging. I don’t feel like doing it, and I don’t end up doing it.

    I actually pulled myself out of bed today for a run. A simple step for me was to wake up too early, so I could clear all my morning tasks quickly, and then I was left with nothing to do. All I could imagine doing was going for a run. So the run came quite quickly.

    But how will tomorrow’s run go? or the day after that too? I can’t imagine, and I need to find that reason for discipline somehow. I don’t think just the simple thought of doing it because it is good for me will work. But perhaps a certain goal that I think makes sense in the long run of things. I’ll work on this over the next few days in this blog, just for my own thoughts as well.

  • Produced Productivity

    I find myself always thinking about what I should be doing, and how much more of it. It stems from the idea of being as productive as possible, and how I wish I could maximize my time in the best ways possible. We should be doing as much as we can, as often as we can… right?

    But I find myself so annoyed with myself. There is only one main stressor: Me.

    That’s when I stop my productivity tools, and put them aside, just to find some sense of peace for my own head. I actually put down tools and tasks, and then I just don’t do anything for quite a long period of time. And just when I’m about done feeling sorry for my annoyed self, I get started again, and start doing work.

    It really doesn’t help when YouTube sends me productivity videos to watch real often. It doesn’t help that I’ve subscribed to these things on my feed, and that I’ve got newsletter after newsletter on how I can really be living the best life if I’ve whittled out my philosophies. How I can be more disciplined, how I can be more in tuned with the goals I have for my life.

    So I’m here now, because I was really excited to get started on a few projects, I started to do some of them, but then I got really disillusioned by my own over productivity lifestyle. I was literally just like not sure which thought should go into which bullet journal, or which notion template, or which Trello board. I was just so confused with myself.

    I stopped doing everything for the past few days, stacked with the side effects from the second dose of Pfizer Vaccine. And the break has been good, I think. I couldn’t do anything, and I really didn’t want to. I had no need to feel bad about it, because all I could do was lie in bed.

    Today I got back on track a little bit, started some work. But man, some days are really so much harder than others.

    Current thought: I should just do whatever I wanna do, and write whatever notes I feel like writing in that day. I can sort later, but the work needs to be done, the ideas need to come out of my body.

  • The Rush to Wait

    The Rush to Wait

    Christmas rushing is always a thing for the year end. It’s so exciting running around shops, hunting for the best discounts that match your friend or family the best. I lose myself at the shelf of red tags stating a large cut from the original price, picking and repicking the items that I was looking for.

    And every year it ends, with me looking at the gift bills, and now with clarice, at least I’ve got her to consider the amounts of money with. Last night we sat down at my table just going throught the costs, and watching the rain on the end of the day and night.

     

    Does life always work on that adrenaline high, where we really rush and get something done, and then we wait for the next thing to look forward to? I know I love the rush because of events and work and stuff. I feel this need for consistency, like the daily something that I had just wrote about before this. I don’t like the drop, so I’d rather have the rush all the time. The only thing about that is that my energy would deplete really quickly.

    Let’s see how things go in the coming year, and I’ll be looking forward to just writing once a day, or just doing something every day.