I find myself always thinking about what I should be doing, and how much more of it. It stems from the idea of being as productive as possible, and how I wish I could maximize my time in the best ways possible. We should be doing as much as we can, as often as we can… right?
But I find myself so annoyed with myself. There is only one main stressor: Me.
That’s when I stop my productivity tools, and put them aside, just to find some sense of peace for my own head. I actually put down tools and tasks, and then I just don’t do anything for quite a long period of time. And just when I’m about done feeling sorry for my annoyed self, I get started again, and start doing work.
It really doesn’t help when YouTube sends me productivity videos to watch real often. It doesn’t help that I’ve subscribed to these things on my feed, and that I’ve got newsletter after newsletter on how I can really be living the best life if I’ve whittled out my philosophies. How I can be more disciplined, how I can be more in tuned with the goals I have for my life.
So I’m here now, because I was really excited to get started on a few projects, I started to do some of them, but then I got really disillusioned by my own over productivity lifestyle. I was literally just like not sure which thought should go into which bullet journal, or which notion template, or which Trello board. I was just so confused with myself.
I stopped doing everything for the past few days, stacked with the side effects from the second dose of Pfizer Vaccine. And the break has been good, I think. I couldn’t do anything, and I really didn’t want to. I had no need to feel bad about it, because all I could do was lie in bed.
Today I got back on track a little bit, started some work. But man, some days are really so much harder than others.