trisected

Tag: productivity

  • End of the Year

    It’s coming.

    I don’t think I expected the year to end this quickly. I feel that there were way too many things I wished I had done, and I am still regretting not done more. The scene of Schindler’s List pops into my mind, but definitely in a very different context.

    I will be aiming to do some bigger reorganization on this site itself for one. It needs to hold a bit more of me as an artist, instead of my blog being the main anchor. I have a lot of other things that I do, that I have done, that I should definitely record and add somewhere. Perhaps I should just add another category. I need a web designer.

    But at the heart of it, if I’m writing this just for myself, and for my own thoughts and processes, maybe it’s okay to just mess around.

    But the site definitely needs an update. That’s for sure.

    Definitely an update.

    Objectively speaking, I’ve done tonnes this year. I think I’ve done more in the past year, than the past two or three years. By doing more, I mean the intentional actions of actually choosing to do projects, talking to people, writing. There was a lot of intention in it. That made it a lot more purposeful.

    What makes me feel regret is that I know I intentionally also chose downtime. I had mornings where I lay in bed doomscrolling. I hate it when that happens, and yet, I choose that often enough. I could have read more, drawn more, done a bit more. But instead, I chose the emptiness of Instagram and Reddit scrolling.

    Funny enough, through the books I’ve read this year (currently 32 completed), some of the authors would have said, it’s okay to not have done anything. I should use those moments to learn more about myself and what I don’t like. Perhaps I should identify the slothful side of me as a villain, and my productive side will come to conquer him more often. The success of the sloth is the strong will productivity that ensues soon after. I do get work done, but some work really just takes time.

    I do have some of those aims for next year, and I’m looking forward to doing my yearly review, based off the Tim Ferriss one. I will definitely set a good day aside for it, and hopefully that helps me to arrange my thoughts in one way or another.

    Anyway, it’s coming to the end of the day, and it was quite a good day of productivity, despite a little hint of doomscrolling in the morning. Goodnight world.

  • Produced Productivity

    I find myself always thinking about what I should be doing, and how much more of it. It stems from the idea of being as productive as possible, and how I wish I could maximize my time in the best ways possible. We should be doing as much as we can, as often as we can… right?

    But I find myself so annoyed with myself. There is only one main stressor: Me.

    That’s when I stop my productivity tools, and put them aside, just to find some sense of peace for my own head. I actually put down tools and tasks, and then I just don’t do anything for quite a long period of time. And just when I’m about done feeling sorry for my annoyed self, I get started again, and start doing work.

    It really doesn’t help when YouTube sends me productivity videos to watch real often. It doesn’t help that I’ve subscribed to these things on my feed, and that I’ve got newsletter after newsletter on how I can really be living the best life if I’ve whittled out my philosophies. How I can be more disciplined, how I can be more in tuned with the goals I have for my life.

    So I’m here now, because I was really excited to get started on a few projects, I started to do some of them, but then I got really disillusioned by my own over productivity lifestyle. I was literally just like not sure which thought should go into which bullet journal, or which notion template, or which Trello board. I was just so confused with myself.

    I stopped doing everything for the past few days, stacked with the side effects from the second dose of Pfizer Vaccine. And the break has been good, I think. I couldn’t do anything, and I really didn’t want to. I had no need to feel bad about it, because all I could do was lie in bed.

    Today I got back on track a little bit, started some work. But man, some days are really so much harder than others.

    Current thought: I should just do whatever I wanna do, and write whatever notes I feel like writing in that day. I can sort later, but the work needs to be done, the ideas need to come out of my body.