It’s coming.
I don’t think I expected the year to end this quickly. I feel that there were way too many things I wished I had done, and I am still regretting not done more. The scene of Schindler’s List pops into my mind, but definitely in a very different context.
I will be aiming to do some bigger reorganization on this site itself for one. It needs to hold a bit more of me as an artist, instead of my blog being the main anchor. I have a lot of other things that I do, that I have done, that I should definitely record and add somewhere. Perhaps I should just add another category. I need a web designer.
But at the heart of it, if I’m writing this just for myself, and for my own thoughts and processes, maybe it’s okay to just mess around.
But the site definitely needs an update. That’s for sure.
Definitely an update.
Objectively speaking, I’ve done tonnes this year. I think I’ve done more in the past year, than the past two or three years. By doing more, I mean the intentional actions of actually choosing to do projects, talking to people, writing. There was a lot of intention in it. That made it a lot more purposeful.
What makes me feel regret is that I know I intentionally also chose downtime. I had mornings where I lay in bed doomscrolling. I hate it when that happens, and yet, I choose that often enough. I could have read more, drawn more, done a bit more. But instead, I chose the emptiness of Instagram and Reddit scrolling.
Funny enough, through the books I’ve read this year (currently 32 completed), some of the authors would have said, it’s okay to not have done anything. I should use those moments to learn more about myself and what I don’t like. Perhaps I should identify the slothful side of me as a villain, and my productive side will come to conquer him more often. The success of the sloth is the strong will productivity that ensues soon after. I do get work done, but some work really just takes time.
I do have some of those aims for next year, and I’m looking forward to doing my yearly review, based off the Tim Ferriss one. I will definitely set a good day aside for it, and hopefully that helps me to arrange my thoughts in one way or another.
Anyway, it’s coming to the end of the day, and it was quite a good day of productivity, despite a little hint of doomscrolling in the morning. Goodnight world.