Sometimes there’s this weird lie I tell myself: “You are very busy this week.” I’m actually not really that busy, but with a weird scale of things to do, it does feel that way. By weird scale of things to do, I mean tasks that are not clearly time defined, and might spill over into different time periods that were not allocated. So it actually feels busier than it is supposed to.
That being said, it’s not as if I’m unable to do things fast enough. My competency is not in question. I am able to finish things, and am able to make firm quick decisions on others. But without the proper calendaring, it really feels as if everything will spill over.
Thus, the false sense of urgency appears. I rush to sit at my desk, and get very thrown around with multiple random tasks. I could have inched my way closer to passing my major tasks, but I get distracted, thinking the more urgent, but less critical ones are the ones that I need to clear.
It’s a false sense of urgency also because many of the things are actually not as urgent as my mind makes them out to be. I just tell myself that these are important, and it’s a great thing to clear before I hit my major tasks. It feels as if I am more productive, but on hindsight, my major tasks aren’t cleared, and I still feel as if there’s a lot to do.
These mental hurdles are really annoying, and honestly could be solved with a good planning session every morning, to get myself going for the day. But sometimes, like the past few weeks, it’s just been hard to get started. It’s something I want to get back to doing again, but man, it really is hard to get started.
I will start the planning now, as soon as this post goes up, and hopefully tomorrow will be a little more on track than today, and the days before.