It’s such a mind boggling thing sometimes, when life turns out in a direction you’ve never expected. Somewhere last year, I told Clarice that I was so sure I have something wrong with my thyroids, and that’s why I have a lump under my chin. Clarice laughed, and I searched and it seems like it was just being fat. But I was still not persuaded.
But now, after 3 weeks of running 4 times a week again, as I did when I was much younger, I feel the lump going away slowly. So okay, maybe it was just fat.
It’s also really funny that when I wrote about Q, from the previous post, within a week, they messaged me. I don’t think Q bothers about me enough to search out my site and read my thoughts, but in any case, I received a text to try and reconcile. I was honestly surprised, so I did take that as a step to do something good, and positive.
I have also been drawing again, and inside, I swear, I think my creativity is going somewhere strange. It’s not that it doesn’t exist anymore, it’s just that I produce work in a way that I don’t totally comprehend right now. And if the work comes out most visually through sketches and sketch walks, I have to be ready and okay for it. I think I am, but I’m honestly a little over it. But I do feel a simple good push by doing a sketchwalk. At least I have some work, instead of putting myself down just to do work that I think would break boundaries or rethink society. I can be happy with just having some work.
So I’m really back to drawing, one page, one location at a time. I do admit, seeing a completed sketchbook is a nice feeling. Even if the pictures are bad, it’s still good. In some sense.
I had plans, and I am having plans of creating a page just of all my sketchbooks too. I will aim to have this up by March. It’s just the process of taking photos that’s tough: laying all the sketchbooks as flat as possible, with the most correct color accuracy. It’s a real process.
I have also gotten through 4 books in the year already, and it’s not even past the third week. This means that I’m pretty ahead of my reading schedule, and I’m still chasing it down. I’m reading this book called “People of the Book”, and it’s not exactly my cup of tea. But it hit a good portion today, so I managed to crawl through the narrative a bit better. Exposure is the hardest part of trying to clear books to read, because it’s really easy to just keep reading the same type of mystery-murder-spy type of books.
I’m a little scared of attempting Murakami again, as I had planned to, but maybe I should. Because that would give me another framework to think about words once more. The murder mystery types don’t really bank heavy on phrasing, but really a lot more on the smart tricks and the incredulous action.
I am also severely allergic to cats and dogs right now. I think the lack of a cat or dog in my past year has lowered my threshold to allergies so much. I am just in constant tears and sneezing fits. I sneezed so much this week that my eye lids were sore from having to squeeze and tear. I had about two nights with animals this week, and it was just horrendous for my nasal passage. But it felt really good though, to have pets. Now it will just be limited to enjoying pets in the homes of family and friends.
That’s about all the updates I have. I’ll be flying around a lot this year, and hopefully I learn how to manage my time a lot better. Prayerfully.
Peace.