LOL What a crazy thought I had, thinking that I’d be able to survive everything well and I’d be able to go through the night feeding without issue. It’s been a crazy two weeks since Clarice has been back with the baby, and about 17 days of baby’s life. But it feels like forever.
To begin with, the birth process itself was tremendous. Both Clarice and I have been so emotionally traumatised by it, and I’m convinced the best contraceptive is to watch and experience the birth process. There is no way you would want to casually have sex with someone, because there is such permanent severity to it. Clarice is truly a beautiful human being for being able to go through all of it, and also I would not have wanted to go through this with anyone else but her.
Labour was basically 24 hours, and even then, it ended in a Caesarean cut, because we were just not big enough at the end. This was the safest option for baby and Clarice, but as they wheeled Clarice away for the operation, I sat down and cried my eyes out. It was horrendous, sitting there waiting for Clarice and my baby to come out. They called me when Allison was out, and her date and time of birth was 13 March, 1203HRS. I cried when I held her, because by then, her birth meant everything. It was bittersweet, because we waited so long, and I was so proud of her already for surviving.
Then she pooped on me and the nurses took her away for a second while I looked for my parents.
Then I spent another hour or two waiting for Clarice to come out, and I was so afraid of the surgery. All surgeries scare me, but the chance of losing Clarice and the baby in the same hour was the craziest. But baby was out already, and now it was just Clarice. So I pressured the nurses to just let me know if she was okay. Then they wheeled Clarice out and I cried again.
At least Clarice didn’t poop on me.
Fast forward to right now: Both Clarice and I are sleep deprived. I’ve got a headache from the lack of sleep or water, probably both. Baby has been awake and moving since 7am, but she’s gone to sleep for a total of 2-3 hours. Meaning, Clarice and I have had very interrupted sleep. I’m not a good napper so I have real bad sense of time and focus.
Everyone tells me this is the hardest part, and soon it will be over. But it feels like we’ve been doing this for years, even though it’s only two weeks.
Thank God for keeping everyone safe through the birth though. And thank God for my parents who’ve been around and supporting me with all the help I’ve needed since the labour. My sister’s also been an awesome aunty, carrying screaming and crying Allison.
But Allison’s actually really chill when she’s full, and diaper’s changed, and without gas. But any one of those three, and she yells So Loud.
Anyway, probably no daily posts. What a crazy thought I had lol!
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