Now that the art book fair is over, I keep thinking that there are so many items for me to follow up on. There’s training I want to do, there’s notes and explorations I should be considering, and most of all, I actually really just need rest. But all that aside, I keep imagining that I have forgotten something and I need to rush for something else.
This morning, as my baby gave me a horrible start to day by waking at 5am and not getting back to sleep for another two hours, I received a text from the Art Book Fair director that I didn’t need to go down to fix up a wall we had banged up. That was a surprise for me, and I was totally ready to go down. Then the second part was that she encouraged me/us to “focus on making and selling books.” It really touched me heart in such a personal way.
It’s something I’ve been struggling with: what I do with my art and my creative production as a whole. I constantly feel the anxiety about who I am, and what type of work I should produce. I’ve really been wanting to make more books, intentionally. Instead, I get stuck working on the collab projects, or just not really giving myself a chance. I want other people to shine, but I bench myself so often. I don’t want to outshine the rest. So the words from the director really meant so much and encouraged me in ways I didn’t figure out yet.
It’s PTS something for sure. But I’m taking her words to heart, and I’ll keep making and selling books.
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