trisected

Tag: friendships

  • People really do matter

    There’s a part of me that had questioned a lot of social norms back in the day. I blame it on teenage angst, among other things. I also think that being a teenager is incredibly difficult, and in this current day and age, it’s even harder.

    But I think one of the key things I did not have, but have grown to have is actual real friends. I never really understood that properly. There were people that really loved me and cared for me as I was growing up. There were friends who went out of their way to care for me, to give me things, and cherish me in ways that I would never be able to pay it back to them.

    I understand that dynamic of friendship more now. People who look me in the eye and care for me in ways that I can actually repay back, and I do it. Or at least I try to. Today is one of those days where I learn how to be a friend, just being a person and not having any agendas or goals, but just being there and listening and speaking.

    It’s not productive, in the sense of the word where something is made, but it is essential, and I’ve grown so much by having friends. It is such a hard concept for me to accept, but now I can’t see myself without my friends.

    It’s a crutch, its a reliance, its a dependency- I use the words with negative connotations, because honestly, it really is that way. I don’t think the simple companionship idea is just as easy as that, but it is one person realising that he cannot do it on his own. So he asks another person for help; I ask my friends for help.

    Sometimes the help is just to be around another person. Loneliness, and the emptiness of the journey gets less when there’s another person around. You don’t have to talk to yourself if there’s someone else to talk to.

    Of course, one of the most important friend is my wife. And really, even that relationship dynamic took so much time and effort for me to learn, for me to grow in. People are definitely an essential part of my life, and relationships are definitely a key part of life.

    Thanks friends, you matter to me in ways that I can barely explain.

  • Birds of a Feather

    I have this idea that we will always meet the people that we enjoy meeting. Not because we’re actively looking out for them, but our lifestyles will make the world spin in a similar direction. The paths would cross, and we would find ourselves filtered through the different times and places. It would be a time where friendships are grown because of how similar the thoughts have been.

    There’s books like CS Lewis’ 4 loves, where he goes through a deep dive on what love means, and therefore what friendships are. I think it’s beyond just friendships.

    I think that if you were inclined to coffee on an individual level, you would naturally meet other coffee lovers. After that, when you speak about coffee and hear other people speak about coffee, the communication levels are what matter. How does this person speak about the same topic? Is it what I also agree and think with, and does this person agree and think the same things too?

    Later when it comes to forming thoughts, we think again: Do I like the person I’m forming thoughts with? At that point is where most friendships are formalized.

    This is beyond the norming storming forming that most other group management programs talk about. I’m thinking about it when there’s no main aim, and there are only interests around. In a time where there is no work to do, and what we end up with is only what we like or our preferences.

    I feel that there is a time coming soon where this social currency will count a lot. It will be the main way that we assess the world around us. Not social media, but the actual physical social interactions. And the person with the high quantity of deep quality social relationships will be the one on top.

    That’s just my thoughts on life and friendships today.