There’s a part of me that had questioned a lot of social norms back in the day. I blame it on teenage angst, among other things. I also think that being a teenager is incredibly difficult, and in this current day and age, it’s even harder.
But I think one of the key things I did not have, but have grown to have is actual real friends. I never really understood that properly. There were people that really loved me and cared for me as I was growing up. There were friends who went out of their way to care for me, to give me things, and cherish me in ways that I would never be able to pay it back to them.
I understand that dynamic of friendship more now. People who look me in the eye and care for me in ways that I can actually repay back, and I do it. Or at least I try to. Today is one of those days where I learn how to be a friend, just being a person and not having any agendas or goals, but just being there and listening and speaking.
It’s not productive, in the sense of the word where something is made, but it is essential, and I’ve grown so much by having friends. It is such a hard concept for me to accept, but now I can’t see myself without my friends.
It’s a crutch, its a reliance, its a dependency- I use the words with negative connotations, because honestly, it really is that way. I don’t think the simple companionship idea is just as easy as that, but it is one person realising that he cannot do it on his own. So he asks another person for help; I ask my friends for help.
Sometimes the help is just to be around another person. Loneliness, and the emptiness of the journey gets less when there’s another person around. You don’t have to talk to yourself if there’s someone else to talk to.
Of course, one of the most important friend is my wife. And really, even that relationship dynamic took so much time and effort for me to learn, for me to grow in. People are definitely an essential part of my life, and relationships are definitely a key part of life.
Thanks friends, you matter to me in ways that I can barely explain.