trisected

Tag: july 22

  • Missed Steps

    Typing on: Vintage Cherry Black Switches, spring swapped to 63.5G+ Springs from ThicThock, soldered onto a WT60-D WeirdFlex, with a Polycarbonate Plate, and mounted into a Resin Case. Typing with MT3 Extended 2048.

    I felt like I really wanted to tell someone that, because I walked by one of the tech fairs in Singapore, and they had a mechanical keyboard station with a lot of clones going on. I don’t know what to feel about clones and about having people who don’t really know too much about keyboards talk about keyboards. It feels like I’m gatekeeping, and it’s not nice to feel like the asshole in the situation. So I shut up, and I’m writing here instead about how special my keyboard is, instead of talking shit about someone else’s first keyboard.

    It’s really not easy to write every day. I’m not writing here everyday, because I’m trying to write on my novel thingum (it’s more of a collection of short stories), and I actually do think that it gets better writing more and more. I have to apply so much thought, and then I have to try and make sense of so many things. But after like the first 15K words, I think I’ve understood a bit more, and I read myself better, and I write a little better too.

    When I miss a day or two of writing, I actually have to spend some time to catch back on what I was writing. It helps when I’ve had that time away, and I can read through and understand what I’ve written. I’ve edited myself often enough, and that’s not fun. It’s like reading an old journal, and you cringe through all your thoughts as a teenager. Just that you’re not a teenager, and it was two days ago.

    But here we are today, I haven’t written yet, because I’m still trying to get my mojo working. But I really want to make something good happen in the coming few weeks, especially when I’m away in Melbourne.

    I’ll be in Melbourne for the next two weeks, starting tomorrow. It’ll be a fun time for sure, and I’m quite excited to be present in the land that I’ve not been to since 2018. I’ve actually got a stick of lip balm with me since then, and I’m really tempted to just go ahead and still use it. If anything happens, I’ll probably just buy another stick there again, and maybe it’ll get stuck in my pocket for another 4 years.

  • In my head

    There are so many things that I was supposed to have done, like blog here daily, or to rearrange my room, or do up my YouTube channels properly, or write my attempt at the NaNoWriMo. But everything seems to be “ok, I can do this later” and its all being done in one way or another in my head.

    But in actuality, it’s really not done.

    I thought I’d write today about how I finally finished shifting the things in my room around, and it’s in a position that I’m quite happy with. But it’s not near as neat as what I want it to, and it’s probably gonna take another day or arranging to get everything neat and orderly. But at least it’s in the right place, and I can watch or listen to something as I clean the room up.

    The room has gone through so many reiterations, and I cannot state how much I value function over form. There is no point having a room that is neat but the function of the room is unusable. Why would anyone do that to themselves. I’d rather a huge mess that is understood, than a room that has everything hidden away, and takes forever for the person to use it.

    The same thing works for working groups. There’s no point having a team that looks good, or seems to have everything covered on the outside, but functionally does not know what to do. I’d find myself just as frustrated, or it would take just as long to get things going, and that in itself is not a very fruitful way for teams to work, or for people to move forward.

    Perhaps the idea is about saving face, and the appearances to people on the outside. If the room looks clean, then it must be well maintained right? But what’s the point of a well maintained room if the people are not home all the time? There’s little benefit to a nice looking thing without the purpose well built into it.

    So maybe instead of making things work out well in our heads, the key part is to really do something and make sure the work is done. I don’t think much needs to be said other than to actually do the work. And I just need to do the work right now.

    I’m not even in a working team at the moment, but I think I’m still in the midst of processing and figuring out the working strategies that I enjoy working with.

  • Missing Days

    I’ve just completed my last day of work officially. I was working in a church, and it has been a good two years of work, to the day exactly. I started on the 6th of July 2020, in the middle of a pandemic, and now we are on the 6th of July 2022. And time really does fly, especially when you’ve been working from home most the time, if not managing this whole range of chaotic mess of hybrid meetings and the like.

    The past few days, I’ve been missing. Specifically because I’ve been really busy trying to get things done just before ending my work. Even though I’m supposed to have been on leave, I’m still managing roles as a volunteer. This is the weird nature of a church worker’s job: does he exist as a volunteer still? Or just as a staff working?

    In any case, there’s a lot that I had to manage in the past few days, involving looking through hundreds of group chats to see which ones I need to leave for, and which ones I should stay on in. Group chats are the usual channel of messaging for many working people in Singapore. I actually don’t know what’s the working norm in other countries, but in Singapore, it’s a group chat. Either on WhatsApp or Telegram messenger.

    I’ve also been on a retreat, and getting to hear very interesting sharing from friends who are very like minded in our approaches to church. There’s definitely a sentiment that the church is changing, and I’m not sure how ready the existing church is for it. I wonder who will be the one to push that barrier in the time ahead, but I’m expecting it to happen some time soon.

    But in the vein of all the new things that are happening, I’m also thinking, what of my YouTube and channel ideas and all of that. I’m just going to go for it, and start planning out parts of my life to film. I’m really nervous about it, and I’m glad that it’s been okay so far, but I am totally unsure how I will feel.

    I’m currently questioning my aesthetic and theme, and if that’s how I want the world to see me. But at the same time, that’s the style that I’m the most used to. So is that okay? or is it not okay?

    My brain makes all these weird decisions throughout the day, without actually doing anything. And that does not help me one bit.

    I’m going to sleep now, because I had a very heavy farewell lunch today, and I skipped dinner, but I’m feeling the hunger starting to kick in a little bit. I think my body is just confused about what time it is and why my mouth isn’t moving.

    I also spent the dinner food time rearranging my room instead. I like to start things on a fresh slate, and I would very much like to have a good fresh slate as I approach my month of new activity. Stay tuned to see how that’s gonna turn out!

    My new job starts on the 1st of August officially, but 10th of August in reality, because I’ll be traveling and I really need a break.

    I really need a break.

  • Starting Points

    In many ways, a lot of why I started writing a lot more here is because of Seth Godin and his blog. I love this guy, and I love the way he thinks about so many things, because it feels like what I would have done if given the courage to just do it.

    Maybe it is quite an entitled way to think, I’ve been considering that notion more frequently these days. But honestly, if it gets things done, then I’m all for it.

    There are many days, like today, where I have no idea what to start with. By the time I can come to my computer to just sit and think, the day is almost over, and I’m just feeling drained. Like an egg yolk separated from the white, just all messy all over and sticky cause I sweat a lot.

    But then I find little reminders of the inspiration I draw from people like Seth Godin. I can just do something now, and just do it today.

    I really want to incorporate bits like this into my YouTube, because I think it’s part of who I am a lot. The part of me that struggles and flip flops with decisions. I want to share that part of me, because I feel that I have to behave a certain way a lot of the time when I’m around other people. I have to be older, be wiser, be certain. I’m just quite a normal guy, because I do struggle. But I’m not that normal, because I just want to do something to stop that struggle. I don’t like frustration, and I would do anything to end frustrations, even if it means getting more frustrated for a short time. Because it would be worth it at the end of the day.

    But for today, I’ll just write this out. At least.

  • July Begins

    It’s the first of July! And I’m already behind on some of the things that I really want to do. But let’s not continue on the wrong foot, and I’m going to get this blog going once more as I get myself ready for the things ahead.

    First things first,

    I signed myself up for NaNoWriMo – National Novel Writing Month. Something like a push for myself to really get into writing properly. It’s not going really well today actually, I’ve only hit 597 out of my 50,000 word count that I’m hoping to hit. And I had hope to write daily. This really just makes me feel a ton of pressure, but honestly I know that I have this story in rough. I just need a good push to get it started, and this NaNoWriMo is hopefully it. If you’re on it, please look for me there: trisected everywhere

    Secondly,

    I’m really trying to get back into YouTube proper, and start that whole video discussion and talking about life kinda thing. I’m definitely branching off where this blog has been, and I share all sorts of ideas and stuff. But I’ll hopefully share as honestly there. It’s really a pain to do editing, that’s one. The other is really how weird it is to talk to the camera. It really feels So Cringe. I can’t believe I even sent a video up. It’ll be out on the 3rd.

    Thirdly,

    I’m in the middle of changing jobs, but at the same time, I’m really thinking about passive incomes OR just making some side money as a whole. Not really the same as moonlighting, but more like selling the things I currently have on second hand trading websites. Things like that. I’ve got a lot of crap and hopefully that can get me some money back.

    Fourth, and Finally,

    I’ve got a bunch of paintings that I do owe a bunch of people. I haven’t drawn for a really long time, and I’m feeling rusty. But hopefully, my creativity explodes immensely. It’s a lot of things pent up inside.

    That’s about it!! Thanks for reading, always appreciate the one or two of you coming to see this. See you around!