trisected

Tag: youtube

  • Another Day, Another Channel

    I decided that it was going to be a bit too much to merge my thoughts onto my keyboard channel, and so, one of things that I need to start is to start developing for my side channel. Perhaps my side channel would end up being the main, but the point being that I can’t just keep doing keyboard tests videos with the subtitles as my thoughts and sharing there, but instead, I should give myself a clean break to just produce whatever I want to try as a whole.

    This really sucks, because it means that I have to start my channel from scratch, but I could always do the piggybacking that I see other creators do as well. It takes some effort to plan all this, and I’m quite terrified of what that would look like. I don’t think I’ve done much difference since the last few times, but I think that I’ll have a different voice as a whole.

    But that’s kinda the way the world likes things, myself included. I want to have a certain type of information given to me in a certain type of way, and I search for it that way. I don’t want to hear other things about other stuff, if I’m looking for sound tests. At the same time if I’m watching something for the lifestyle of it, then why would I want to watch someone typing on the same channel too? Wouldn’t it get confusing?

    Anyway, this problem is something that I’ve dealt with for a number of years. My friends have suggested both ends: one to compile all of the things together, and the other to just have completely separate channels. Those two things really do stand some distance apart, and personally, I think it’s about time to try have a separate channel for each interest. But this blog here will always remain the same, convoluted mess that I choose to remain as.

  • My Bad

    I’ve been avoiding writing for a few days now. I have some idea why, and it’s related to why my videos go up slow on YouTube as well, and why I don’t post anything on Instagram much either.

    I think I’m dealing with my disappointments of the previous occasions.

    I don’t think I’m that good at many things. I think I’m good at thinking of ideas, but I keep thinking that I’m not good at making it happen. I keep thinking that I don’t finish it well, or execute it properly. It’s not like I’ve gotten a bad review of anything, but I’m just really not sure of what I feel about how something turns out. I feel like I can’t trust what people say, or how I feel about something, and it means that sometimes I just let things go because I feel like it.

    I don’t think that’s the way I should do it, but that’s what I feel and that’s usually what holds me back. Until a day comes along like today, where I feel like there’s too much thought going on right now in my own brain, and I need to let it go, to make sense of it all.

    So I pen this down, because I want to make more things, but my own mind is saying no. I’ll be going back to do this program that I really enjoyed a few years back called The Artist Way. It’s a 12 week course of reassessing yourself as a creative, or just as a human actually. And it’s totally private. I’m looking forward to doing it for sure, but it’s gonna be a challenge. It takes time and effort to do it, but I want to, because I’m kinda done feeling the way that I currently do. I need to get out of my own head, and let myself go and make something happen.

    All this being said, I’m gonna make edit a video and get it up for tomorrow.

    See ya, and thanks for everyone who’s been sticking around all this time. I appreciate it, and I hope to keep on at it.

  • Two too?

    There were way too many good memes for today’s 22 Feb 22, so I will leave that for everyone to dissect in their own time. But today I did a lot of Filthy Frank catch up, that I never knew I would like this much. It’s the Jackass of the YouTube era, and just the wilder, more unconventional, and definitely extremely rude versions of many of the pranks of old.

    At the same time, it’s really interesting to see how much Joji changed over the year. I mean, it’s honestly something that I think I would love to approach as a person, or something that maybe I hope I could look back on one day in gladness. Right now, I’m still waiting for myself to get started on many of these things, and I just want to write for the time being.

    Maybe in a short while I’ll really get something going, and get a good showcase of something going on. Maybe one day soon.

  • Bad Influences

    There’s some major ideas of what is good, and what is right. And most of the world is willing to get behind most morally good things.

    But sometimes, you get some really dark and weird influences, like Filthy Frank:

    It’s mean, it’s racist, its everything, but at the same time you know its satire, and people there are really just trying to say things that are as mean as possible so that their comments would be read, or something along those lines. Ok, or possibly they’re really truly offended by what “Frank” was saying. In any case, I personally feel there’s definitely space for expression like this, no matter how disturbing and dark it gets.

    So as I pour through Joji’s old clips as Frank and stuff, I’m just really curious how and when did he decide to make the song parts of things real. And maybe even deeper, how did he even get started on Frank in the first place.

    I guess I wonder these things because I feel like there’s a Frank inside me, waiting to get out one day too.

  • Another Hot Day

    There are days like today, where I just sit there and feel the heat pour over me. I just showered to get myself going, and to just feel a bit more fresh. But I just feel damp after. It just feels like the sun is covering me with a thick hot wet blanket, sucking away my energy.

    It doesn’t help that I thought today would turn out a bit more chill, so I had made a hot cup of coffee instead of going for one of the cold teas that I had prepped from before.

    Days like these are also days when I feel just fat, for some reason. I just feel as if I’m wearing a fat suit, and its just making me get even hotter. I feel frustrated with everyone and everything, and it just keeps on going. The heat, the irritation.

    It feels like today would be a good day for burger and fries, and a nice cold milkshake. A nice vanilla milkshake, with chocolate chips or something. I think I know what I’m having for lunch, and at least I can look forward to that.

    I’ve been watching a lot of Emma Chamberlain recently, just seeing what had made her so famous, and just understanding who she is as a person. She reminds me of Casey Neistat, and that era of vlogging. It’s actually one of the motivations for me to start writing here a lot more often, and a lot more personally. I don’t really want to appear on camera, and to have to do all the video editing after that, so I feel like this works out for me in a good way.

    I don’t need my site to “take off” or to “go big”; to be honest, I don’t need my YouTube to do that either. I just want to be me, and I can be that right now. I don’t have to try, I don’t have to push things aside, I’m just enjoying my own little existence on the interwebs, and I exist as myself, without sponsors, without an audience, just being me.

    I like this, and I hope whoever reads this will also appreciate who they are and be happy with their current state of life.

  • Finding a Personal Space

    I think it’s always something that I struggle with. While I might be friendly, sometimes I find it hard to share what is really on my mind. I think I lean towards different people’s preferences a lot of the time.

    Today we had a time of reflection, as part of work. During that time, I realised how much I’ve been keeping on my own mind, and not sharing it properly to the people around me. It takes a bit of effort, but I find that I am quite overloaded with my own thoughts. I don’t speak much of what I am really feeling, and at the end of the day, I am still quite alone.

    Maybe this is a reason why I don’t have a normal YouTube Channel, and I’m quite happy with just showcasing the typing tests, as my own reference point.

    Actually, maybe other than this blog, I don’t really share myself on the Internet as a whole. So I guess if you’re reading this, you do get to see a glimpse of me that I don’t really show anywhere else. I just find that it’s not the right space to share myself, on Instagram, on YouTube. But this place is quite an appropriate place. So I’m fine with this.

    Here’s a song/album I’m really into now, and it keeps playing in my head: Holiday / No Surprise / Mystery / T.L.C. (TURNSTILE LOVE CONNECTION)

  • Missing the Thrill

    When I started looking at keyboard videos, I was really keen on watching this guy:

    I mean Japanese, with really aesthetic videos, and that sweet keyboard sound? What’s not to like? And every time I watched his videos, I imagined that would be me some day, getting to type on a really nice keyboard, and having a really nice video to prove for it.

    And I’ve gotten there! Thankfully. I’m happy with all the different switches that I have, and the kinds of keyboards I’ve gotten to play with. And of course, I’ve got almost the same kinds of keyboards Wabi Sabi has. Or at least that one that I was really excited about .

    But now that I’m here, and looking back, I miss that feeling. I was waiting for keyboards, I was eager and learning. Now I feel stuffed. I feel over satiated. Full of information, full of knowledge and experience. I miss being hungry and waiting for the keyboards. It was an eagerness, and every day I felt I was one day closer to getting something really special; I was really looking forward to it.

    I guess that’s something that I will always remember about that time. The days going to sleep, hearing typing noises, wondering if I ordered the best switches or not. That’s a huge part of the appeal for keyboards, a self perpetuating hype train that will never come back to the train station. Now my keyboard dreams are in another realm of excitement, or maybe it is just level to my other interests. Whatever it is, I’m really glad I had that time to be excited about, to grow through. I wouldn’t have been half the keyboard nerd I am without those videos.

    Thank you to Wabi Sabi, for your Vids.

  • OUTPUT BEFORE INPUT

    I’m a sucker for Tom Sachs, and for Morning Routines. So this one is really up my alley in the weirdest way possible. I haven’t been good at restraining myself with social media before I start my work and my thoughts, but this is really a great reminder for me to think more, to produce more, to just do more.

    It hits you really differently when you do more. In the Artist Way (12 week programme in creatively resetting), there’s a week where you are not allowed to have any input. No movies, no videos, just your own thoughts and your own writing. In that week, I learnt so much about how much content I take in, and I take in tonnes of content.

    My usual day has me starting out with Reddit, and seeing what’s the latest things trending in the Internet world. After which, I’d play a video whilst I brush my teeth or shower, continuing as I change and get to my table. Then I would check through the range of YouTube things, or flip through my Instagram notifications, and then when I get really tired of all of it, then I might look at my notebooks and consider writing. This is all within the first hour of me waking from sleep.

    That’s not a good place to be, and its because I feel like a content slob. Just taking in all this content, without really processing, without really working it out. My thoughts are not lean and toned thoughts anymore, they’re heavy and all over the place. My mind is not trained the way it used to be. I actually feel the need to be sharpening up. And this post is me taking some action to getting there. I decided to write this morning, to get myself doing something so that my mind has a workout.

    Or at least a stretch, for today.

    I’ll be back, tomorrow. I hope. For a longer mental workout, or just to have a better sense of a healthy morning routine.

  • A Piece of My Mind

    What should be the medium of things on YouTube? The other day I had watched a video on the way cinematography is done on YouTube, and there’s this idea of having things done in presentation style.

    I thought it was really interesting, because I’ve always liked Casey Neistat videos, and I never really knew or understood properly why so. Casey’s videos tend to go through an array of YouTuber Presentation Style, and then some really cinematographic movie style on other shots and angles. Peter McKinnon really makes blows this up, especially with his hardcore B-Roll footage.

    I mean these are two really big YouTubers, and they both present and film footage in similar but not ways. Which makes me really rethink: what exactly is YouTube footage? What makes a YouTube Video a YouTube Video? Must I follow these rules to make a YouTube Channel? What about algorithms and things like that? How do those thoughts play into the video and the channel?

    As you might know, I’ve been watching a ton of keyboard videos. Like really a lot of keyboard stuff. I expect keyboard videos to look a certain way, have certain information that I’m really trying to look out for, and a few other things like that. But when the keyboard video doesn’t have that, I’m quite frustrated, or I might not actually watch the whole video.

    So I guess a question is: What do I hope to achieve in my production of typing videos? What do I want people to go away thinking? Must it look a certain way? I know it currently does, but I’m thinking of title slides, I’m thinking of intro sounds, music, end credits, all sorts of things.

    And at the same time, I’m thinking of really artistic and relaxing videos. Things that appear on minimalism videos, or even just lifestyle videos. Is that possible? Keyboards as a lifestyle? Sketching as a lifestyle?

    I want to try that: I want to announce myself as a lifestyle. I want to share how I think and why I think how I think. But I want it to be appreciated, not studied. I want it to be enjoyed, not mimicked. I don’t know if things like this would turn out that way, and I guess many people have these aims in their heads. But I hope one day, that it would work out that way in the videos I hope to make. (I haven’t even started story boarding them yet lol)

    Also, there are many questions that I’m asking in this post. It’s not directed to anyone, but I just wanted to put all these thoughts out there, because I hope one day to track back and to read how I thought through all these things. And hopefully, my future self will be answering my present self one day.

    What a time to be alive, really.