I’ve been avoiding writing for a few days now. I have some idea why, and it’s related to why my videos go up slow on YouTube as well, and why I don’t post anything on Instagram much either.
I think I’m dealing with my disappointments of the previous occasions.
I don’t think I’m that good at many things. I think I’m good at thinking of ideas, but I keep thinking that I’m not good at making it happen. I keep thinking that I don’t finish it well, or execute it properly. It’s not like I’ve gotten a bad review of anything, but I’m just really not sure of what I feel about how something turns out. I feel like I can’t trust what people say, or how I feel about something, and it means that sometimes I just let things go because I feel like it.
I don’t think that’s the way I should do it, but that’s what I feel and that’s usually what holds me back. Until a day comes along like today, where I feel like there’s too much thought going on right now in my own brain, and I need to let it go, to make sense of it all.
So I pen this down, because I want to make more things, but my own mind is saying no. I’ll be going back to do this program that I really enjoyed a few years back called The Artist Way. It’s a 12 week course of reassessing yourself as a creative, or just as a human actually. And it’s totally private. I’m looking forward to doing it for sure, but it’s gonna be a challenge. It takes time and effort to do it, but I want to, because I’m kinda done feeling the way that I currently do. I need to get out of my own head, and let myself go and make something happen.
All this being said, I’m gonna make edit a video and get it up for tomorrow.
See ya, and thanks for everyone who’s been sticking around all this time. I appreciate it, and I hope to keep on at it.