There was a time when I was considering writing as a side gig, like maybe a possible thing that I could get into. Not so much income, but just another skillet to develop for possible business? Like for fun, the same way I do drawings and things like that. That thought was put through the reins when I was writing a lot on Medium, because I thought that would be a good place where I could get random people to read my posts, and I could get some side money from it. Either that or I could maybe just curate myself better on the go.
Also at that time, this site was in a huge question mark. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with this, and it just felt like I was holding the website for the sake of it. WordPress’ layouts were also kinda boring then. I mean now that I’m here, it’s clear that I can deal with this, but it’s not perfect either, but at least it’s somewhere.
But over time, I realized I didn’t like writing with other writers on Medium. It felt like I couldn’t really express myself as me, and I had to form myself into a shape that others could understand, something like YouTube. The content needs to be what the rest would be willing to watch.
That’s not me. I’m not really good with dealing with everyone else. I can do work, and I can be friends with people, but having to write creatively for someone else is not something I enjoyed. I found that I also don’t know how to feel about taking drawing commissions to be honest. It felt like there were things that I didn’t want to do, but I had to make do.
But because of that, I realized I like writing here, for myself. I honestly don’t care too much if people read it or not, the same way when I had written for others when I was younger, I wrote specifically expressing myself to them. It was good, and I really enjoyed it. It was who I was, and what I wanted to be.
So now back to this particular site, and for me to write as freely as I would want to, it makes me happy. I am very happy with it indeed. I wish there were more ways for me to express it, but time will tell. I will continue to write here often, and I will continue to share what I learn about myself in this whole time.
If you’re here and this is the first thing you’re getting to read, please just have fun and see where my mind has been on this site. It’s just a peak, but I promise I’ll explain more about how I think in the time to come.
All that being said, I’m really keen on having my keyboard that I’m typing with to sound and feel a certain way. But apparently it’ll just be time that will get me there. That’s tough, because I’m honestly not the most patient person in the world. Also because of that, I feel like I might want to get another keyboard just to wear in now, before I want to use it later on as well.
I really get into way too many hobbies interests that take too much of my time, and I really don’t have that much time. Time to get started again.
https://youtu.be/XOnCffYzGXo this is the sound of said keyboard. My own video of this will be coming up here real soon. 🙂